Thong

A thong is so pretty and happy to wear. I wear it to have clothes on but still feel bare. I love to go prancing and dancing in mine. And if you would join me that would be so fine. It's wonderfully freeing to wear such a thing. And that is why I go and prance and sing. I covers the hidden parts and leaves the rest nude. A thong was made for the manliest of dudes!

On a day like today,

On a day like today,
All sunny and gay,
Many will warm their feet in the sand.
And enjoy the sun,
There for everyone,
That's what's so great about this land.
But if I don't choose,
to take off my shoes,
Please don't show me your hand.
I don't have to be glad
It's OK if I'm sad,
I'm just doing the best that I can.
So all you backstabbers,
And Life force grabbers,
You worry about yourselves.
If you don't shut it
That definitely won't cut it,
I hope your attacked by evil elves.

Special Spatulas

Spatulas can be good friends. They can protect your bunnies from attacks. They help you make pancakes. They are good to cuddle with. They can be good backscratchers. Spatulas help to clean the gunk out of the swamp cooler. Spatulas can be used to floss your teeth with. They can help you row a boat through toxic Zombie infested waters. Want me to make you some pancakes?

What?

Bran, Bran Crunchy Corn Bran. I'm the bran bran bran bran braaaaan man. I love to eat that crunchy corn bran. Oh man. Doo wah!!!!!!!!!!

Paint. Stipple. Stubble. stumble. Trip. Disneyland. Mickey Mousey. Disney Channel. I hate the new Disney channel. I hate Broccolli. Broccoli is green. bean. I was sad once. no mad. no sad. no mad you twit.

I like eggs. I like bugs, they are tasty. Girls have cooties. I like cooties. Smile. Toast! Bridges. Bow. Arrow. Root. Cookie. Virus. Swine flu. Table Cloth. Blanket. M.J. Balcony. Opera. Viking. My worst date. Shivers. Fear. Corn?

Flying!!!

I love flying on the winds above the earth.
Looking down upon the people deciding what they're worth.
That guy's worth a hundred dollars that lady is worth ten.
People have become devalued since way back when.
They just aren't as worth it as they used to be.
That's probably why my friends, I no longer see.
I prefer to make friends now with little slimy bugs.
And when I get tired of them I just give a shrug.

And eat them.

Scavenger

Flying through the sky
Searching with their eye
Following the lives, that go on, on the ground below.
Down from up above they swoop and pick it up in on fell scoop.
The Scavengers....Oh the Scavengers....
Waiting for the unawares to drop
From the top
See them stop
Watch the scavengers come along and take just what they want from what's left of you!!!!

Shoobe doo be wah wah wah!!!!!

Let's Get Serious

It's not often that I speak on serious matters. I tend to drone on and on about nothing for paragraph after paragraph. Today I want to take the time to bring something to everyone's attention. Most everyone comes into contact with these everyday but everyday more and more of them are being broken, chewed on, stepped on, and some are destroyed completely. While they have served and served we continuously use, abuse, misuse, and neglect them. I'm talking about the Aglet. How many children will go through today not able to properly lace their shoes? How many parents will scream in frustration while trying to get perfectly good laces in holes without the plastic sleeves on the end to thread them in? Does this madness have to continue? How far will it go? Will they just discard the laces and move on? Save the Aglets wants to help stop things like this from happening all over the world. savetheagletsnomatterhowsillyorridiculousandstupiditseemstoyouandme.com wants to help fight this growing problem. Remember They're Aglets, they are at the end of your laces and first in our hearts.

Disturbed

My alarm disturbed my sleep this morning,
I dragged myself from bed,
My children disturbed the peaceful stillness
their shouts pounding in my head.
The smells of morning disturbed the fog
that kept me from thinking clearly,
I send the children off to school now,
regaining silence I love so dearly.
I grab an onion from the cupboard
and slice it into quarters,
The pungent fumes disturb my eyes,
with tear drops of salty water.
I sit down to watch my favorite court show
lying on my back,
I put the onions to my tongue,
and my lips I give a smack.
My wife says that I should not do this,
my breath it does offend,
But it keeps all things around me disturbed
for silence is my friend.

Storms

I love it when it storms,
My blanket keeps me warm.
The cold just can't get in,
Cause I'm wearing something's skin.
It might be fresh and bloody,
And kind of sort of muddy,
But Han solo did it in Empire, So......
Why can't I!