Misdemeanors Announcement 3

HAve you ever heard that PORN doesn't digest after you eat it? err Corn I mean...Corn doesn't digest. Not that that is a big shocker. Cob, plate, can wherever you get the corn it always looks the same right? Wonder how many baseball players eat corn. But somehow we still get carbs from it. How many carbs could I have really gotten from corn....it still lokks like corn. Corn Pops are some of my favorites among the world of cereals. Before Corn pops I thought if corn exploded it became popcorn. Amazing. So easy to get popcorn stuck in your teeth. I bought a power flosser just for when I eat popcorn. I hate flossing but it feels so good when I eat popcorn. hmmm.
It's a simple act of humility for me to look in the mirror. I know I'm beautiful but when I look in my mirror I try to find the flaws that aren't there. when I can't I make them up. For example there's the Hideous growth on my left eyebrow, purplish with green spots on it. That's a flaw I was rather proud of. Took me all day of staring at my perfect face to come up with that one. Many people think I'm vain, I never try to explain what I'm doing standing there all day looking into the glass. How could anyone with a common face understand what it takes to become humble about this? My wife bought me a ton of stuff from MAry KAy. She says it's for her but we all know it is for me to maintain my boyish good-looks. She was rather alarmed when most of the bottles were emptied recently. I told her the kids did it. She got angry and said well how could you not notice them here in the bathroom you've been staring at that mirror for 12 hours now. I just giggle cause she doesn't understand.
Albondigas....if I say it outloud it almost sounds crude. Is it too early to think about what people might be getting me for Christmas? It's much easier to think along that vein when you have boxes to shake. Or when the ground is all white. But then everyone expecta you to aing carols for them everytime you see them. "Hey you, you sing...sing me a carol" I can show you where to stick your carol. which is something I shouldn't say because I actually like carols and I also want whoever this is to give me something at my party. The party where I serve as appetizers.....Albondigas.